The storms have rolled in.
Disappointingly declining grades have showed themselves.
The end is nigh.
Today I'm gonna be talking about things that I'm afraid of.
Oh boy.
I should've used the 'snake' post for this topic.
Haha.
That's what you get when you don't do your reading in advance.
But then again,
the chances of snakes actually getting into your room is close to impossible.
Or is it ?
That's not the point.
What I'm trying to say is.
Perhaps something more realistic would be a much better thing to be afraid of.
Let's say....
Hmmmm.....
Failing Year 12 and getting crappy ATAR ?
Yes that sounds like a very possible future.
One that I should be very afraid of.
More emphasis on the 'verys'.
If I don't study hard enough,
then I think what I'm fearing most,
will come true, indefinitely.
The worse part is ATAR.
I'm still new to this whole ATAR business,
so I'll try to explain it.
Regardless of how misguided and wrong I am.
ATAR is a Australian ranking system.
It's used for getting into uni.
So unlike CGPAs,
students actually get a number
ranging between (somewhere near) 0 and (somewhere near) 100.
Yes.
So that means no one can get 0 or 100.
I think the highest you get is 99.95 or something like that.
How it works (which I don't know) is,
they take the top 4 subjects you're taking.
It goes through scaling,
compared to other student's score.
Do this for every subject.
Balance it all.
Do some weird calculation.
Get an ATAR score a.k.a rank.
So if you're ATAR is 80.
(haha. no more 3 credits minimum left !)
That means you're smarter than 80% of the kids in your state.
General ATAR requirements for uni is 70 and for the harder courses, 80.
Studying interstate would require an even higher ATAR,
going as high as 90.
Naturally, if you want to be a doctor,
you'll need AT THE SUPER VERY VERY LEAST
an ATAR of 98+.
Yes. Right now.
I need an ATAR of at least 80.
You'll need a little bit higher for a secured place.
Despite my Maths handicap,
I really want to get the course I want.
And not waste another year,
just to do an additional Maths course.
Problem is.
I can't even estimate my own ATAR right now.
I've had no official exams yet.
They can't even make a forecast yet.
I think my grades are declining.
very VERY slowly.
Which kinda worries me.
I don't think I have enough time for every subject.
omg I can't even think about those students who have
double Maths, chem, phy and english subjects to juggle.
So. Yeah.
What I'm afraid of the most now is my ATAR.
Mid-sems are actually coming in 4 weeks time.
Or was it 3 ?
Ughhh....
Another related thing I'm afraid of
is forgetting what I already learned.
Yes, I do admit I am doing fairly well in school now
(with aforementioned drop in grades)
but when I look back at the tests that I did.
I go.
'Wait, I knew that answer ? How DID I do it ?'
That does happen once in a while.
And it's actually worrying me.
What if I don't have enough time
or if I just have too many things to cram for exams ?
I wouldn't have time to go,
"Oh. Yes this question has to be done like this.
Not using the usual method."
would I ?
There was this man who I partnered up with for my first Physics experiment.
He told the teacher after class finished
"I haven't been in uni for almost 8 years.
I didn't get a single thing I see.".
In short, he's (kinda) lost.
How I used to see it was like
"Oh. You went to uni. You even did engineering.
That should be great motivation for you !
At least, you know you can do it.
You already did it once."
Yes, that was my mentality when I met him.
But now,
this evening,
to be more specific,
I went
"What if I can't make it ?
I fail to reach the standards that I unknowingly
made for myself (the previous test scores).
WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE IT *jumps*".
Yes, that's really what I'm thinking now.
By the way,
Mr I-haven't-been-to-school-in-8-years
dropped Physics the following week.
And we never saw him again.
He's still taking Chemistry though.
Good for him !
Yep.
I think those are the things
that I am afraid of.
Boring academic stuff.
Think the 'snake' was a better one ?
Listening to True Colors - Artists Against
Stormed, literally,
TK
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