Memories of Nobody

Hmmm...didn't update for the remainder of this 1 weeks holiday...I probably didn't have the "right" mood to blog...Everybody bloggers' gotta have a "mood" to blog....Don't you think so ??? If my blog is devoted to swearing at the other people, of course I would blog when I'm mad at someone...But mine is just a mishmash of STUFF that I do, wanna do, did, regretted, and lastly, died away...

Anyways, my aunt came back from KL and brought this router with her so she (we) can used wireless within the house....GAWD, It's LIKE HEAVEN....I can search for piano sheets while putting the laptop next to my piano....AHHHH, I kept moving my laptop around everyday, first the living room, then the kitchen table, then my mom's room, then ETC.....IT ROCKS...but then again, THAT's WHY I haven't finished my homework !!!! GAKKKKKKK AKAUN !!! That teacher is INSANE !!! GAHHHH *shoots flashy arrows at her then make a meteor fall on her*

I dunno WHY I LUV meteors soooo much....TOO MUCHHHHH FF !!! LAWL, seriously, theres like about 10 types of meteor attacks in Dissidia....I just LUV METEORS, especially when I freeze you THEN shoot TWO meteors at you....That one was fun...

It's now 9 and I decided to do only a SMALL portion of my Akaun homework but only because it's due tomorrow. I'm sooo gonna delay my BM karangan and Add Maths (even though it's also due tomorrow) and Chem 'cuz it's only due on Tuesday....+++++++ My physics tuition homework...OMG Need to draw like 3 graphs then show it to the teacher which uncoincidently is Cikgu LLL *BOOM* She's not that scary, but what can I say ? I haven't seen her in "Bloodlust" mode yet...OH WELL....

It's fine if you forget, it's fine if you can't feel it I've patched up the scrapes in my heart

It's okay if I'm hurt, because I no longer feel the pain Even as I drag my feet along

I can no longer see The self That made a sound and then collapsed

If you just notice the sound of the wind...

It told me to follow these scars Before I'd be crushed by the weight of the world Can you remember it? The sky of tears... That pain has given you protection Because this pain will always protect you

More than the strength of being unhurt, the kindness that cannot hurt Its voice in some ways, seems sad

Just like Unbuttoning a button Our hearts and bodies Were separated

Once again, catch your heart...

It told me to follow these scars Before I'd be crushed by the weight of the world Can you remember it? The sky of tears... That pain has given you protection Because this pain will always protect you

I found it That teary voice There's no mistake It's my own

All of it was for this moment...

I'm sure that from the beginning, you knew I was the only one who wouldn't leave you again

I made you realize, this is a sign for you

That pain has given you protection

I was told to follow these scars And then there wouldn't be anything to be afraid of... Don't forget it, your reason for smiling...

That pain has given you protection That pain has given you protection Because this pain will always protect you

Happy Chinese New Year !

Lol, haven't updated in like 1 whole week (I DID say I will only be updating on weekends didn't I). But technically it's been 2 weeks since last week's post was totally not call blogging, I'd rather call it an emo-post. XP

Anyways, there's LOTS of things to talk about, mainly related to my "misfortune" and stuff...But seriously, if you don't enjoy something, wouldn't you call it a "misfortune", and if that "misfortune" continues for the rest of the year, wouldn't you call it a rather UNFORTUNATE year ??? Duhhh....why do you think I made the name of Season 8 so...I thought I was unlucky, but my misfortune is JUST about to start. This is not my year and absolutely NOT how it feels like to be in Form 4, I WANNA GET SUPER-HIGH and get drunk (just ONCE !!!)...It's new year now, but i feel rather EMO !!! There's just too much (or was it many ?) disappointments in my Form 4 life. I wanna kill myself...

Some how this affects my blogging mood, makes me wanna make this a emo post too T.T Lol, talked to Phoebe that day in the library. Tried to encourage her abit without doing too much sarcasm...'cuz she's been blogging a bit negatively than usual, which made me do an emo-post. (But seriously, we're suffering this much) If you look at things mathematically, a positive blogger like myself mixed with a negative one like Phoebe (NO OFFENCE), you'd get a couple of negative bloggers. But when a 2 negative bloggers come together, you get a couple of positive bloggers. Get what I mean ??? If you're 13 or below, then of course you don't understand...Wait till you're form 2. But I don't think any Form 1 students read my blog. They either just got to know me or don't know me yet ^.^

Anyways, had alot of programs happen for Chinese New Year, reunion dinner, CNY Breakfast and what not, a visit to the temple, And of course, another dinner organized today for no apparent reason...LOL (not to mention me slacking till 4am everyday)...I LUV SLACKING...Those graduated Form 5 blogger's are making me slack together with them...Not to mention, giving me an urge to cook...(Just kidding...But I wanna try the butter breakfast that Melia made T.T SOOOOO BADLY)

I have TONS of homework 'cuz the teachers kinda have some extra empty space in their chests. Clearly they weren't showing any mercy to us Form 4 students, I dunno should I call this a simple to complex start (like what Nana claims) or complex to insane start (I'm pretty sure it's this one though)...It's a BAD thing that the Moral Projek requires the student to write essays non-stop just because they wanna force students to see their future visions for the country though this attempt proved to be futile as it just makes us wanna burn down the board of education even more !!! >: I heard the BOE is going to transfer the principal of Shan Tao (primary) away to another school because the "CLAIM" that he's been "eating" up a lot of money but Cikgu Yong said it's the BOE who's eating non-stop and gaining weight but since Shan Tao didn't have any proof or anything, they can't do much for them...I really hope he doesn't get transferred to a bad school, or even better, DON'T get transferred at all !!! He's really a good principal...(Iz tiz onez of thoz prankz ??? Will the BOE change their mind???)

On the bright side, LJB and Crys came to my house on Saturday morning ! Yay FUN, asked my mom on Thursday and she said I can't add anymore 'cuz my family was having reunion dinner that night so my mom will be busy the whole day and doesn't want more trouble...Three IS a crowd...after all...At first Crys said she was coming at around 10 something 'cuz our Cartoon Network movie starts at around 11 something, so I expected the same from LJB. But he was like, arrived at 9 something...Great, my schedule is TOTALLY OFF...But I did make a mean joke on Fri when Crys asked what time she should come (I just didn't know LJB would FALL for it). She said she'd come around 10, then I said that's what a normal person would do, THEN I continued, "If you come earlier than that, then you've got no life and solely rely on other's activities to stay entertained, like a parasite...If you come later than that, then you'll never be punctual for a party again..." Manatau LJB got here at like 9 something, he said his dad had to go work...Yay, someone actually feel for it (unintended...which makes me even more of a jinx ^.^)

Did some pretty HIGH stuff that day, was planning to push everything into one session then concentrate on homework, but I guess I'm just too addicted to those things....In the end, NO HOMEWORK DONE ^.^...Me and Crys slacked ALOT but LJB used a lot of time to do his homework...So he got 2 pages of Physics done. I don't understand how that could happen, he used like 1 hour and stuff...Oh ya, he was reading the book that book that Sonia borrowed me for no explainable reason. It's called, Questions Teenagers Ask, or something like that. At first, I thought it was more or less like a parody of the Chicken Soup series, but most of it involved s3x and lots of disgusting stuff. When me and Crys were watching TV, I saw LJB downstairs still reading, I was like Ewww...How can you stand reading that...Of course, boys can't resist reading about it can they ??? I know I can't stop laughing ^.^

Just spent another wandering inside my own imaginary world...Clueless as always I guess...=.= Only managed to do a LITTLE bit of my homework...And I haven't even started doing my Akaun which is like....Dozens of pages long....GAKKKKK save me !!! Planning to get a new camera, by the way. My aunt from KL brought her router or whatever and now I can access Internet anywhere as long as my notebook is within this house...I think sampai my neighbour also can reach, but good thing all of this has a password which is freaking long and annoying !!! But one time and I can use forever...I kinda feel sad if she goes back, bringing tech stuff together with her T.T....Oh well, all GOOD things must come to an end...PLUS, all this wireless surfing can't make me concentrate on my homework 'cuz whereva I go, there WILL be internet access...KINDA...

I LUV SIGN...(by FLOW)...It's just soooo awesome (I can't say romantic 'cuz it's rock)...And on Sat morning, I found an even better version which comes with the album...It's a piano mix version...And I LUV IT !!! Even more, since I've listened to the "rock" version too many times already !!! This version is just soooo touching and sad...Made (and still making) me wanna cry T.T 'Cuz it's so romantic and lovely...Give it a TRY...Also in love (just not as much) with "The Price of Freedom", no singing in it, but the fusion of acoustic and electric guitar-ness gives it an awesome edge...Wonder will it sound better with lyrics ??? Could only get the video version of the piano mix 'cuz it's just too exclusive...(Ignore the childish Naruto picture, even though I still read the manga ^=^)

It's not the world which stopped, it's just me.

Seriously having those mid-teen crisis now, homework just keeps pouring in non-stop ! OMG, so troubled, but like I said...After I blog about homework, I feel like my burden is lighter already. But today, I won't talk about how boring my homework is (It kept me from blogging yesterday)...But about my personal issues and desire despite this being a public blog, I'll try to NOT reveal my true feelings here in case some stranger came in and wants to kidnap me.

When in doubt, look into a mirror. What I see, is my face. Closing my eyes, I subsequently pushed the mirror aside. It fell...And broke..

Oh...how mad I am at myself right now. I should've grabbed the chance, I'm no good in anything after all...

I just can't do anything right can I ? I cling to my friends for survival. That is, IF they are my friends. I guess I'm nothing but a parasite.

I feel like I'm at peace now.
But peace is but a shadow of death.
Desperately trying to forget about it's painful past.
Though we hope for promising years.
After shedding a thousand tears.
Yesterday's sorrow constantly nears.

我是一个不能原谅的罪恶。
我不希望被原谅，但被遗忘