Chasing after the final CATs of the day has become quite the norm.
After a day-long trip to the library,
I find myself running through the cultural square,
past the train station and along Forrest Chase.
I needed a timer for the CAT.
Unfortunately the timer at Forrest Chase's CAT stop has malfunctioned.
So I had to make my way to Raine Square.
It was further away down the road,
but I just felt insecure about not knowing when the CAT may come.
After a short walk down William St,
I find myself crossing the road in a rather impatient manner.
My back was slightly hunched as I walked on with my classic poker face.
Perhaps I chose to keep a stern expression on my face
because I was somewhat deaf to my surroundings.
All I could hear was the music blasting from my earphones.
Regardless of how people might think of my walking style,
I walked hastily towards the CAT stop at Raine Square.
Almost there, I thought to myself.
But just as I was holding my breath and making my final few steps to the timer,
someone came out of the square.
It was a short, little girl, probably around her 20's despite her height.
I guess the best word to describe her was 'petit'.
And I must point out, she was Asian.
She was holding grocery bags.
There was no doubt about it.
She was just shopping at the Coles in Raine Square.
Well, I didn't really care about what she was doing,
or where she wanted to go.
She came out of the entrance and just stopped.
Right in the middle of the pavements.
And right in the middle of MY way.
Unsurprisingly, I couldn't react as well to this sudden 'obstacle'
because of my "deafness".
For a second there, I lost my balance trying to stop my heavy footsteps.
But I managed walk around her without making too much of a fool out of myself.
What a weird girl, I thought to myself.
I didn't really give much though to her after that.
Back to my timer.
4 minutes, it says.
Good.
There were still CATs running, and I didn't have to wait for more than 5 minutes.
It was quite dodgy really.
There were no chairs at the stop.
It was in the middle of a street so lots of people were walking.
It'd be hard to find a good spot to stand without getting in everyone's way and looking like a complete idiot.
I backed up a little and leaned on the walls of one of the closed shops behind me.
My poker face still unfazed by the earlier loss of balance and hearing.
3 minutes.
I can see the CAT coming from a distance.
Yay, I thought to myself.
It couldn't wait to get home and have dinner.
I was starving.
And what better way to reward myself for a day of hard work
than to chow down on a plate of whatever-Mom's-making-tonight.
Yes, yes.
All the food in the world...
but my train of thoughts were interrupted by the Asian girl I saw earlier.
She walked pass me.
Approached the bus stop sign.
I wasn't sure whether she was reading what was on it.
But she redirected her attention to the Aussie couple standing next to it.
She talked.
It felt a little weird.
Asians don't talk to Aussies.
Especially Aussies dressed in black.
I thought they'd look scary.
They were talking about something.
But I couldn't hear, obviously.
What I could hear was Gary Lightbody singing :
"I imagine you were home, in your room, all alone...."
Oh well.
She was probably asking about the CAT or something like that.
One thing I've noticed with Asian people are.
If the get on the CAT, they'd probably get down at Harbour Town.
I don't know why.
Do they live there ?
Do ALL Asians live there ?
I bet the girl was also heading to Harbour Town.
She was just asking for confirmation.
Nothing better than the local's advice, right ?
Well, nothing special about that.
As Taylor joined Gary for the chorus,
the timer went down to 2 minutes.
But that's not the only thing that caught my attention.
The Asian girl was walking towards me.
By instinct, I stared at her as she came closer.
My hands automatically pulled my earphones off my ears.
So much for enjoying the chorus, I thought.
Just as I finished telling myself that,
the girl opened her mouth and the next thing I knew,
a cluster of confusing syllables came out.
"............ basu stecion........"
That was the only thing I could make out.
Judging by her accent, she was probably Japanese.
Maybe even Korean.
Well, I thought she wanted to know where the bus station was.
So I lifted my hand lazily and pointed towards the structure across the street.
Problem solved.
But she continued with another weird puzzling sentence.
".................Ro.........street........."
It was already bad enough I couldn't understand her first sentence,
but now her second sentence seems totally unrelated.
At that point, I've given up hope.
Her speaking skills are just terrible.
All I did was give her an honest answer.
"No. I don't know where it is."
I was being honest.
The street name that she spouted out with considerable effort sounded like it belonged outside the city.
At least nowhere near the suburbs that I was familiar with.
Just as I was waiting to give her another "honest" answer to her next question,
she asked "Where are you from ?"
Her sentence still lacked clarity, but I could actually understand it this time.
Without thinking twice, my mouth blurted out "Malaysia".
It was probably due to my acquaintances asking about my country-of-origin so much.
I figured she'd probably wanted to know about which suburb I lived in.
Unfortunately, before I could correct myself,
she walked away.
I guess she's given up hope on getting any helpful advice or assistance from me.
I just stood there, slightly shaken.
I put my earphones back on.
At this point, the timer had gone down to 0 minutes and
Gary was singing the final chorus with Taylor.
The bus within clear sight.
The traffic lights at the corner of the building turned green and the CAT drew closer and closer.
With thoughts of my epic dinner gone, I turned my attention back to the little girl.
I thought she'd try asking other people but she didn't.
She just kept walking down the street.
Was she going to keep walking aimlessly ?
How is she going to get home ?
She can barely speak English, I doubt she could read.
All these thoughts suddenly flooded my brain.
The CAT stopped in front of me.
Everyone got on.
I got in line at the very back.
I was having my doubts.
Should I try to help the little girl ?
What could someone like me do ?
I couldn't even understand her.
As the passengers slowly boarded the CAT,
my heart started beating faster and faster.
It was what psychologist would call a "fight or flight" situation.
To stay behind, miss the last CAT and help the girl get home.
Or to just ignore her and go home.
My stomach felt a little weird.
My intestines felt slightly twisted and uneasy.
My feet just lifted itself and before I knew it, I was on the CAT.
I quickly scanned the vehicle for a seat.
Found one and sat down.
The CAT started moving.
It went pass the girl.
She was still walking.
Still carrying her grocery bags.
I wonder would she ever find her way back home.
Regret and guilt filled my heart.
When it to my stop, I thanked the driver and got down.
Then I started running.
I ran and ran.
I didn't know why I ran.
I just wanted to. I needed to.
I stopped outside a building near my apartment.
I was panting heavily.
I sat down on a short brick fence.
Thinking about what had just happened.
Still panting and listening to a repeated Gary singing :
"This is the last time I'm asking you....",
I stared up at the sky.
No stars.
Two women walked past me but I decided to ignore them.
After catching my breath,
I stood up and walked towards my apartment.
What happened that day was truly a rare experience for me.
The little girl was probably afraid and alienated.
She shopped for groceries at the supermarket.
Something an experienced Asian wouldn't really do.
They'd just buy their groceries from Asian stores at Northbridge a.k.a China Town.
This must've been a traumatising experience for her,
and for me as well.
We both felt helpless in our own ways.
From what we've discussed in my English lessons,
language empowers.
It empowers us to participate in society.
The fact that the little girl lacked the ability to speak well
must mean that she felt disempowered.
Her self esteem was all sapped away.
That was probably why she stopped asking people for directions after talking to me.
I assumed she'd thought it was pointless asking some other Aussies when even an Asian kid like me failed to understand her.
"Language empowers us." is a common phrase reiterated in my English lessons to no end.
I've used it in my oral exams.
It was the most basic sentence one could say to score a few extra marks.
I thought they were empty words.
Words that I'll never understand.
But those words have value now.
I finally understand what they truly meant.
They finally made sense.
The true importance of language.
Maybe it was dead apparent for many people.
They naturally understood the importance of language and its empowering aspects.
Alas, I am not one of those "many people".
But I am grateful for understand what they truly mean to a person now.
Thank you, little girl.
I didn't see you today.
I hope you're home already.
Safe and sound.
Listening to The Woman I Love - Jason Mraz
I want time to stop.
TK
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