books end

Well.
It's almost time for graduation.
But before MY graduation,
I'd just like to make a little shout out to all my wonderful but extremely distant friends.
"Happy Graduation".
"Happy Belated Graduation".
It doesn't take a lot of stalking to see all the happy faces.
But nonetheless,
I still stalked.

My so-called graduation is coming up on Wednesday.
But my so-called graduation is only a so-called graduation.
No 'jubahs' (I don't even know what they call them in English, robes ?).
No handshakes (Well, maybe informal ones).
No going on stage one-by-one.
You know what ?
It's NOT a graduation.
It's....it's....it's....
just a stupid Award Ceremony where the top brains get prizes.
And the graduates would be sitting there watching people receive prizes.
What a waste of...umm... time !
WACE starts this Friday.
And they're making them sit there for an hour or so, doing nothing.
Well, at least there's free food.
But everyone's gonna fight for the free food, so....
I know Miss Fashion will.

I've just came back from my WACE English Oral Test.
And I am grateful nothing bad happened.
As per usual,
there's always that post-exam period where you suddenly go
"SH*T I should've said or written that. Not that.
OMG I could've bla bla....FML".
And I definitely felt it.
But I guess it wasn't that bad.
...Hopefully.
I can barely remember what the questions were.
Everything just blanked out as soon as I went in and as soon as I came out.
Oh well,
what's passed is past.

I think my examiner was an Indian (?) guy.
OMG maybe he's middle Eastern ?
Ah whatever,
his skin was dark.
And thank God for that.
I don't think I would've been able to manage eye contact if
the examiner was an Aussie guy.
Dat' accent...
Everything went OK.
I came out in one piece.
(Oh look, subtle anime pun.)
And now it's time for the bigger, harder, scarier exam.
And here I am,
typing away like nobody's business.
#DestinedForFailure

Well, this is just going to be another one of my many
hiatus-warning post.
So,
you are/were warned.
Probably not gonna update a lot for the remainder of this month and next month.
I mean,
it's not like I'm going to have a picture of me wearing my graduation robe, right ?
Because remember,
I'm not getting one.

On a totally unrelated note,
Chemistry totally foiled my straight A streak.
And its always the last paper that I take back that ends up being the B.
#FML
But beggars can't be choosers I suppose.
Hopefully scaling will come to my rescue !
Ok I guess I should stop writing crap now.
But before I end this.
Let's just take a moment to bow our heads in memory of Aero.
You have served me well.
And you will be greatly missed.
Thank you for being with me everywhere I go.
I don't know what I would've done without you.
Rest in peace, dear friend.

Now who wants to see my new phone case =D
Its BLUEEEEEEE.....
That means its pretty.
#eBayFTW
Thanks Miss Iiyee for showing me the wonders of eBay.


Listening to Animal - Neon Trees

They say it's what you make,

I say it's up to fate.

It's woven in my soul,

I need to let you go.

Slacking off !
TK

the calm after the storm that is the prelude to the even bigger storm

Finals are over.
Thank God for that.
I could feel myself getting more and more tired as the days passed.
By Thursdays night,
I was already passing out without brushing my teeth.
(Yes, I know its gross. You don't have to remind me about it.)
I felt particularly bad for my poor lil' tooth because I had a GALLON of orange juice earlier.
And we ALL know orange juice contains citric acid.
(Thanks Chemistry....)
I can practically dream about my teeth melting.
Well, a small part of my tooth already came off for ***** knows what reason.
I brush my teeth everyday but my teeth refuse to love me back.
Ok enough about oral hygiene.
Let's talk about what I always talk about.
EXAMS.

I quote myself,
"It's been an emotional weekend..."
....and tomorrow's my finals.
Great.
There were happy and sad emotions.
Mostly stimulated by sappy new movies and books.
A little bit of real life stuff.
But I won't go into too much details on that.
An interesting thing I noticed about last weekend was that,
I wasn't really in the mood to do any work.
I just sat at the library and watched movie trailers.
Come home and read an illegally downloaded ebook.
Watch Finn's tribute episode.
Go to the library and daydreamed even more.
And BAM !
Some bad news.

Next thing I know,
I'm chasing the bus again on a Monday morning.
My new phone alarm is being a real *****.
And I can't really hear it ring in the morning.
So I woke up a little later this week.
Well, its a good thing I wasn't late for any papers.
I won't really go into details about which questions screwed me over.
(Stupid Amino Acids and Non-perpendicular equilibrium question !)
But I will tell you that,
it didn't rain while I was walking to school,
my calculator did not die on me in the middle of exam,
I did not lose my calculator,
my papers weren't exact replicas of past years,
and I knew that I had to use a pen to write, not a pencil.
So I'd say it went a little better than the last time,
in terms of not making a fool out of myself.
Not so sure about my actual marks though.
It is kinda nerve-wrecking.
Chemistry was SURPRISINGLY hard.
I mean,
I did the past papers and I found them hard.
But I didn't know the questions would take me that much by surprise.
(Stupid empirical organics. Wasted half an hour on you !)
But whatever.
The whole thing is over.
Funny how the last paper (Applied Info Tech) was the subject I gave up on.
And I didn't really study for it,
because,
well, I gave up on it.
(I only need the top 4 of my 5 subjects)
I didn't really study for it.
By Thursday afternoon,
I've become so exhausted for unknown reasons that I took an hour-long nap in the library.
And then kill more time by talking to the librarian.

Something funny did happen though.
Miss Fashion told her Math teacher about me and giving up on IT.
(She talks a lot lol)
Her Math teacher got super worried about me skipping the paper.
She texted Miss Fashion about how worried she was and told her to give her my name.
Haha.
Thanks Miss Fashion for reassuring her that I'd show up.
Me, skip a paper ?
Obviously her Math teacher doesn't know me that well.
Oh wait.
She doesn't know me at all.
Well, long story short,
I found the paper that I didn't study for the easiest.
Thanks karma !

I spent the rest of the afternoon 'participating'.
Thanks to Mr Doctor,
I've managed to engage in a friendly conversation with Miss Burette for the first time.
It was nice, I suppose.
I ended up wasting a lot of time though.
But I'm not really all that worried about it.
Because, finals are over.
Unlike when I was on my term 'holiday'.

Unfortunately, my newfound freedom is/will/shall be short lived.
There's only two more weeks until WACE.
And the first paper of the WHOLEEEEE month-long exam ?
Physics.
My oral practicals are next week.
And I haven't even prepared.
School only starts on Wednesday.
This is NOT what I need.
I shouldn't be slacking.
Oh look at me.
Worrying 'bout 'important' things.
I bet I wouldn't be thinking like this last year.
Well, at least I passed (most of) my papers last year.

Ok let's talk about something else.
Perks of Being A Wallflower, anyone ?
I finished reading the book in half a week.
That's how much I neglected my finals.
Some parts of the book was confusing.
But some parts (the friends part) were touching.
Not sure if I should recommend the book, though.
I mean, I know its good,
but I'm not sure if I 'clicked' with it.

Today, I've (illegally) downloaded a copy of
The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella.
I've tried reading the book in my school library,
but I found out that reading via my phone is wayyy more convenient.
I don't have to carry around a heavy book that I'm going to have to constantly worry about the due date.
Its great to have something to do when you're waiting for the train or the bus.
And by the time its my stop,
I'm already hooked.
But it kinda makes me question myself :
"Why pick up a reading habit RIGHT before you super big mega ultra important exam ?"
Well, I just can't help it.
Its just like smoking.
Once you start, you can't stop.
And now I feel sorry for all my actual books.
Real, paperback books which I've 'never had the time' to read.
I wonder what should I do with them.
Well,  I still wanna read them.
Wouldn't wanna waste all that money now, would I ?

Its Saturday night.
8pm.
Its official.
I've wasted a whole day.
And you know what ?
It feels great.
Well, except that part when I was standing in the middle of the street like an idiot because I don't know where to go.
Well, I guess that just means that I have no life.... yet.
I'll get one soon.
I promise.


Listening to High Hopes - Kodaline

Alpha and Omega.

TK

Here & Now

Having similar time zones can be a real blessing.
I can be 3000 kilometres away from home
and still know what time it is.
That means I can probably guess what everyone is up to at the very moment as I'm thinking about it.
I could completely off track though.
Its not like I know their schedules or anything.
Things change, of course.
But it isn't take rocket science to know what they're up to now.
They're all dressed up.
Handsome and beautiful.
Elegant and charming.

Its been exactly a year and a year after I kinda felt that.
Although to be fair, there was more going things to do than to enjoy.
But the moment, that night, would remain etched in my memory for the rest of my life.
Here I am, typing this.
I'm wearing my Radioactive Domo tee on the inside and my checked blue shirt on the outside.
I don't know why I'm typing this, but I just felt a need to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that 'I'm here, and they're there'.
But its not like I'm jealous or anything.
Okay well maybe just a little, even if I'm not feeling it, its never nice (or safe) to give a 100% guarantee.
Ain't that right ?

I want to remember this moment.
Not as a moment of regret or sadness.
There's no point in being all sad and stuff.
Life is just too good for me to be whining like a little b**c*.
I might not be there right now, but life goes on.
And I just wanna wish everyone that I care about a 'good night'.
As in have a night which is good and happy.
Not get high.

I really wonder why I'm typing this.
This whole blog post I mean.
I guess after watching Glee's The Quarterback, reading the first 130 pages of an illegally downloaded PDF of Perks of Being A Wallflower, re-watching the trailer of About Time 20 times all in one day, you just can't help but feel like appreciating your time and life a little more.
I just want to memorialise this moment.
Even if it means absolutely nothing to me.
Have fun guys =)

What am I doing ?
Finals are next week.


Listening to Lakehouse - Of Monsters and Men

I never know what the future holds,

just like everyone else.

Time catches up to all of us.

I've tried to live everyday, 

as if it was the final day,

of my extraordinary ordinary life.

Getting sentimental.

TK

Grocery Bags

For me it was just a typical day.
Chasing after the final CATs of the day has become quite the norm.
After a day-long trip to the library,
I find myself running through the cultural square,
past the train station and along Forrest Chase.
I needed a timer for the CAT.
Unfortunately the timer at Forrest Chase's CAT stop has malfunctioned.
So I had to make my way to Raine Square.
It was further away down the road,
but I just felt insecure about not knowing when the CAT may come.

After a short walk down William St,
I find myself crossing the road in a rather impatient manner.
My back was slightly hunched as I walked on with my classic poker face.
Perhaps I chose to keep a stern expression on my face
because I was somewhat deaf to my surroundings.
All I could hear was the music blasting from my earphones.
Regardless of how people might think of my walking style,
I walked hastily towards the CAT stop at Raine Square.

Almost there, I thought to myself.
But just as I was holding my breath and making my final few steps to the timer,
someone came out of the square.
It was a short, little girl, probably around her 20's despite her height.
I guess the best word to describe her was 'petit'.
And I must point out, she was Asian.
She was holding grocery bags.
There was no doubt about it.
She was just shopping at the Coles in Raine Square.
Well, I didn't really care about what she was doing,
or where she wanted to go.
She came out of the entrance and just stopped.
Right in the middle of the pavements.
And right in the middle of MY way.
Unsurprisingly, I couldn't react as well to this sudden 'obstacle'
because of my "deafness".
For a second there, I lost my balance trying to stop my heavy footsteps.
But I managed walk around her without making too much of a fool out of myself.
What a weird girl, I thought to myself.
I didn't really give much though to her after that.

Back to my timer.
4 minutes, it says.
Good.
There were still CATs running, and I didn't have to wait for more than 5 minutes.
It was quite dodgy really.
There were no chairs at the stop.
It was in the middle of a street so lots of people were walking.
It'd be hard to find a good spot to stand without getting in everyone's way and looking like a complete idiot.
I backed up a little and leaned on the walls of one of the closed shops behind me.
My poker face still unfazed by the earlier loss of balance and hearing.
3 minutes.
I can see the CAT coming from a distance.
Yay, I thought to myself.
It couldn't wait to get home and have dinner.
I was starving.
And what better way to reward myself for a day of hard work
than to chow down on a plate of whatever-Mom's-making-tonight.
Yes, yes.
All the food in the world...
but my train of thoughts were interrupted by the Asian girl I saw earlier.
She walked pass me.
Approached the bus stop sign.
I wasn't sure whether she was reading what was on it.
But she redirected her attention to the Aussie couple standing next to it.
She talked.
It felt a little weird.
Asians don't talk to Aussies.
Especially Aussies dressed in black.
I thought they'd look scary.
They were talking about something.
But I couldn't hear, obviously.
What I could hear was Gary Lightbody singing :
"I imagine you were home, in your room, all alone...."
Oh well.
She was probably asking about the CAT or something like that.
One thing I've noticed with Asian people are.
If the get on the CAT, they'd probably get down at Harbour Town.
I don't know why.
Do they live there ?
Do ALL Asians live there ?
I bet the girl was also heading to Harbour Town.
She was just asking for confirmation.
Nothing better than the local's advice, right ?
Well, nothing special about that.

As Taylor joined Gary for the chorus,
the timer went down to 2 minutes.
But that's not the only thing that caught my attention.
The Asian girl was walking towards me.
By instinct, I stared at her as she came closer.
My hands automatically pulled my earphones off my ears.
So much for enjoying the chorus, I thought.
Just as I finished telling myself that,
the girl opened her mouth and the next thing I knew,
a cluster of confusing syllables came out.
"............ basu stecion........"
That was the only thing I could make out.
Judging by her accent, she was probably Japanese.
Maybe even Korean.
Well, I thought she wanted to know where the bus station was.
So I lifted my hand lazily and pointed towards the structure across the street.
Problem solved.
But she continued with another weird puzzling sentence.
".................Ro.........street........."
It was already bad enough I couldn't understand her first sentence,
but now her second sentence seems totally unrelated.
At that point, I've given up hope.
Her speaking skills are just terrible.
All I did was give her an honest answer.
"No. I don't know where it is."
I was being honest.
The street name that she spouted out with considerable effort sounded like it belonged outside the city.
At least nowhere near the suburbs that I was familiar with.
Just as I was waiting to give her another "honest" answer to her next question,
she asked "Where are you from ?"
Her sentence still lacked clarity, but I could actually understand it this time.
Without thinking twice, my mouth blurted out "Malaysia".
It was probably due to my acquaintances asking about my country-of-origin so much.
I figured she'd probably wanted to know about which suburb I lived in.
Unfortunately, before I could correct myself,
she walked away.
I guess she's given up hope on getting any helpful advice or assistance from me.

I just stood there, slightly shaken.
I put my earphones back on.
At this point, the timer had gone down to 0 minutes and
Gary was singing the final chorus with Taylor.
The bus within clear sight.
The traffic lights at the corner of the building turned green and the CAT drew closer and closer.
With thoughts of my epic dinner gone, I turned my attention back to the little girl.
I thought she'd try asking other people but she didn't.
She just kept walking down the street.

Was she going to keep walking aimlessly ?
How is she going to get home ?
She can barely speak English, I doubt she could read.
All these thoughts suddenly flooded my brain.
The CAT stopped in front of me.
Everyone got on.
I got in line at the very back.
I was having my doubts.
Should I try to help the little girl ?
What could someone like me do ?
I couldn't even understand her.
As the passengers slowly boarded the CAT,
my heart started beating faster and faster.
It was what psychologist would call a "fight or flight" situation.
To stay behind, miss the last CAT and help the girl get home.
Or to just ignore her and go home.
My stomach felt a little weird.
My intestines felt slightly twisted and uneasy.
My feet just lifted itself and before I knew it, I was on the CAT.
I quickly scanned the vehicle for a seat.
Found one and sat down.
The CAT started moving.
It went pass the girl.
She was still walking.
Still carrying her grocery bags.
I wonder would she ever find her way back home.
Regret and guilt filled my heart.
When it to my stop, I thanked the driver and got down.

Then I started running.
I ran and ran.
I didn't know why I ran.
I just wanted to. I needed to.
I stopped outside a building near my apartment.
I was panting heavily.
I sat down on a short brick fence.
Thinking about what had just happened.
Still panting and listening to a repeated Gary singing :
"This is the last time I'm asking you....",
I stared up at the sky.
No stars.
Two women walked past me but I decided to ignore them.
After catching my breath,
I stood up and walked towards my apartment.
What happened that day was truly a rare experience for me.
The little girl was probably afraid and alienated.
She shopped for groceries at the supermarket.
Something an experienced Asian wouldn't really do.
They'd just buy their groceries from Asian stores at Northbridge a.k.a China Town.
This must've been a traumatising experience for her,
and for me as well.
We both felt helpless in our own ways.

From what we've discussed in my English lessons,
language empowers.
It empowers us to participate in society.
The fact that the little girl lacked the ability to speak well
must mean that she felt disempowered.
Her self esteem was all sapped away.
That was probably why she stopped asking people for directions after talking to me.
I assumed she'd thought it was pointless asking some other Aussies when even an Asian kid like me failed to understand her.

"Language empowers us." is a common phrase reiterated in my English lessons to no end.
I've used it in my oral exams.
It was the most basic sentence one could say to score a few extra marks.
I thought they were empty words.
Words that I'll never understand.
But those words have value now.
I finally understand what they truly meant.
They finally made sense.
The true importance of language.
Maybe it was dead apparent for many people.
They naturally understood the importance of language and its empowering aspects.
Alas, I am not one of those "many people".
But I am grateful for understand what they truly mean to a person now.
Thank you, little girl.
I didn't see you today.
I hope you're home already.
Safe and sound.


Listening to The Woman I Love - Jason Mraz

I want time to stop.

TK